Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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