just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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