chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
