tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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