Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
