Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
