I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize