I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
