They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
