I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
