thus making me awesome and them whores
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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