I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
