Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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