I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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