his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
