How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
