Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
