What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
