you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
