its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You may now shotgun with the bride
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
