I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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