I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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