With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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