He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So much rum. So many feels.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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