She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
