I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
