you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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