he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
