terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
