Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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