Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
