she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Blood and glitter go together right?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
