Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
