I'm eating all of the evidence.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
