After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
