Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
