My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
People in love make me want to vomit
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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