She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
