ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dignity is for republicans.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
