This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
