there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize