Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
