ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize