Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
