i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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