Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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