Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
