All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
