My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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