i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Rumble strips road head = magical
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
