Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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