Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
