Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
