im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
