I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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