What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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