yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just threw up on my dentist
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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