drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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