she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
