we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
