i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
